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Saturday, August 11, 2012

What You Wanted, Not How You Wanted

"I never been the person who likes to get in trouble or cause confusion. You know what the Bible says paraphrase that "God is love and not of confusion". Well, I stuck my foot in something so deep without me seeing it coming. It began one day I was driving home and my college classmate, BFF called.
"Hello"

"Hey gurly. What's up?" Leah responded.

"Nothing much girl. Just driving home from a meeting." with a calm voice of worry.

"De' Asja, I know you didn't have any meeting today. I saw you with Aspen. You were at the cafe by the art gallery on Fifth Ave.What's going on? I was going to see if you was going to tell me."

"Sorry, girl. I was going to tell you when I got my thoughts together. You know I don't like trouble or confusion. Right now at this moment I am pass knee deep in." replied De

"I have to go Barry is on the other line."

"Bye, De" replied Leah

"Yes, honey"

"Baby, where is my Stacy Adams?" he asked

" Look in the closet on the floor near the container with Winter on it. Do you see them? If not I am on my way home."

"Thanks, I found them. Don't worry about cooking tonight I have a meeting with the Dr. Rawlins. That project I have been working on has been approved."

"Great! Why didn't you tell me?"

" I wanted it to be a surprise. After this is done, I promise I will slow down. We are going to work having a baby again."

"You have said that so many times, Barry. I will see. Only if he knew? What am I going to do? Should I tell him or wait? I'm home, bye."
Driving my car into the garage I see everything he said he was going to do and hasn't. The crack in the driveway, the siding on the house that was partially repaired from Hurricane Ophelia, and my flat tire on my Honda Accord. This tire has been flat for two weeks. Just sad, getting out of the car, the smell is making me nausea. I hurried to unlock the door passed Barry to get to the half bath near the guest room. 

"De' are you ok? Well, I see that you are vomiting like you have that stomach bug going around. I'm going to  reschedule my meeting to stay home."

"No, honey. You worked hard to get this. Call Leah see if she can come over? This give me a chance to see if she can help me."

"Leah, is on her way. I am going to stay until Leah gets here. You look flushed." 
He carried me to the master. He had made the bed so neatly that I wanted to take a picture. This is what I loved about him. Why he wasn't that way with other things around the house." He undressed me gave me a quick wash up, pull the covers back on the bed, gently placed me in the bed.
"You looking so beautiful. Take me back when we first met at the art expo in college. I knew I was going to make you my wife." his eyes smile.

"Knock, Knock! Hey, where is the sick gurly?"

"We are in here Leah." replied Barry.

"Hey, sweetie. You look good and rough?"

"Barry, you go head. That money is calling you. I got your girl."

"Thanks, Leah. I have given her a bath. She needs to eat."

He gentle kissed me on my forehead. Walking away as if it killed him to take each step to walk out of that room. Leah waited long enough to hear Barry car back out of the driveway and down the street. 

"What is really wrong with you?" asked firmly by Leah

"I'm pregnant."

 
 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

A Deeper Meaning

A couple of weeks ago I watched the movie "The Reader". That movie has a deep meaning, which took you to a raw place within yourself that some people wouldn't be able to explain. Continuing to think about this movie, took me to a memory. There are memories or events in life that causes others to be shut off from the world and family. Until something happens and you learn that you have to open up to release what you are hiding.The character who played the young gentlemen fell in love with this woman. She was much older and have to be in control. She had to stay in control to hide her truth. Her truth was she couldn't read. When you watch the movie there are several scenes where they made love. I looked at it from the point of view that she wasn't making love to the young boy. She was making love to what he had. What he had that she didn't was education, innocence, and most of all he could read. 

Have you ever seen someone who might have a car that you have dreamed of all your life. I know mine is a Ford Mustang. You look over to see a fine man driving the car that would make you sin just with eye contact. The intelligent young man had attracted her to him. In return she taught him how to make love to a woman but not how to love. That love is giving yourself to those you love. Which caused this young man marriage to crumble. He didn't have the best relationship with his daughter. I will let you see the end of the movie to see what happens. I will say this once you release a secret NO ONE can beat you over the head with it. Don't let your past beat you.You leave it behind and take the wisdom, knowledge and understanding in your heart.