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Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Forms of Black Stereotyping




            Steve Harvey’s book “Act like a Lady, Think like a Man” gave women all over the world information on every type of man in every form. When you look at the news you see our black men stealing, killing, fighting, etc. It does something to all of us, especially our black women. On the honest tip I love a black man. I love the strength, swag (confidence), features, creativity, and many more attributes. What makes me very angry is the mentality that someone or the world owes you. Nobody owes you ANYTHING!! We all have to get out there and work our tails off to get what we have.
            I understand everyone isn’t dealt a good hand in life. This is where you prove everyone around you wrong. I think about what Cicely Tyson said on Oprah’s Life class “make it worth their while.” If anyone going is to bring a child into this world, make it worth their stay on this earth. When she said that something hit me in the spirit, that made me scream at almost one in the morning.
            The Bible states that he looked down into forty-two generations to find a virgin to bring Jesus to this earth. He sent an angel to let her know that she was chosen to bring Jesus into this earth. The angel also informed Mary of her challenges. The Heavenly Father will take care of her. What made it worth her while was she got to see and feel her son again.
            I want to say to the parents who are doing your best, Thank you and keep up the good work. Next, to those that can do better stand up to the challenge, the Bible states much is given, much is required. If you want the best it takes doing your best. One of those steps is getting an education or vocation, etc. It is making the effort to be your children’s example. Making it worth their while is taking them on the field trips of life’s path, letting them meet people who have completed their dreams. It doesn’t happen overnight but it can happen.
            I say to our black men the stereotyping isn’t going to stop overnight but we have to fight back with knowledge. When the elderly or someone older with wisdom and knowledge tells you something to help you, accept it and show appreciation. They made it through the Civil Rights, the Jim Crow Laws, etc so that we could have what we have today. That is equality!!! I think about the history classes I have taken. The Vietnam War was senseless but what made it worse was our black men and women couldn’t vote. We fought in a war that wasn’t our concern.
            Now we are fighting a war that is our concern. We have to fight it with prayer, knowledge, with reasonable expression and protesting. We have been lacking in these areas in the Michael Brown case. In Trayvon Martin’s case all the above was done effectively. We need our men to express their emotions. Expressing emotions doesn’t make you weak. I have heard so many times from our men, especially black men, that I am mad or angry because they disrespected me. They can’t articulate how? The how is more important than you know because like I said before this is where the knowledge kicks in.  
            The Bible states that people perish for the lack of knowledge. This is so true. If you look at our prison population it is majority black men. If you look at Chicago, New York, Kinston, North Carolina or any other city. Black on black crimes is a norm. Yes, a norm!! We don’t understand why we can fight, cuss, fuss, yell and destroy other people property over Michael Brown. My best friend asked me why our black community won’t rally or protest for black on black crimes?
            Pause. Hold on. That is a powerful statement; I had to scream when she said that because it is so true.  Where are the people? Where are the real men? Why are you afraid of this young man or boy? You might be answering ‘he might got a gun’. Yes, at the end of the day you’d rather save this black man child from being another stat in the national research database. If they see you care, the love will come. When the love come the trust and respect follow. You have to take a stand somewhere.
Now you see a little ray of hope in that aspect but they don’t know how to handle life challenges. The line they use is “they keep holding me back.” Nobody is holding you back except the person in the mirror - This is another form of slavery.
Our black people have made people angry because it wasn’t easy but we fought to break the barriers. You can’t expand your mind to be that Denzel Washington, Tyrese, NeYo, Beyonce`, Tyler Perry or anyone else in your community that you admire. It is time to take responsibility for your own actions. If you had those six or seven kids, you feel your life is over. Don’t use the system to make a life. Make a life and be an example. Like I said before much is given, much is required. Let’s break the chains!
I can go on and on about the issues of our black men and women. I touched on the issues that were near and dear to me. I am a black woman who is in her early thirty’s. I had every different form of a black man. Black men respect us!! Young women respect yourself, you don’t have to have a man to validate who you are as woman. If he isn’t a real man, then he is just another bill. Yes, another bill that don’t have to be added to your life. Please stop having kids and not taking care of these kids. The grandparents should be able to enjoy what they have worked for in life.  Children need love and attention. The mentality as long as the child isn’t bothering me is not cutting it. It is embarrassing to see your child doesn’t know how to sit down in a restaurant, doctor’s office, or read, etc. I am a single mother of a seven year old girl. I have had people to watch our table in amazement. After they finished their meal, they came to the table and complimented on how well mannered she is. I know single parents with five or more children who maintain to work, go to school, and manage a career. Most of all, the children know how to behave. Yes, it takes help from others who are willing to help you- not hinder you. If you have setbacks don’t give up. The race isn’t given to the swift or the strong but to those who endure until the end. All that matters is that you finish!
We have some races to run. All I know is I am ready to run them to save my black men and women. If that is through sharing my knowledge, wisdom, and understanding, then I am here. You can not win the race if you don’t have your finish line set in your mind. I am not talking about the quick money, like selling drugs. That is a life in prison or death. This race comes from the reward of hard work, education, buying a house, having your own business (legal), a great career; these are the rewards that are waiting. You have to finish the race to receive the reward.
           

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

I Am Back!

      I am glad to be back writing my blog. I have missed my audience. Well, I posted back in July of 2013, that I was going to post "A Gift of Words". I didn't come back and post it. I have given this to Arapahoe Charter in Arapahoe, North Carolina. I haven't checked back to see what or how the instructors has used this to help improve the students success. I will check back soon.  Here it is!
A Gift of Words
Everyone remembers the joy and wonder of being read to while
snuggled in mother’s comforting arms. We pass on stories, traditions,
history and culture through reading to our children. Do you ever
wonder how many children don’t get to share that experience? You
would be amazed at how many children don’t get that interaction
with their parent. A majority of families today are single parent
homes. I am going to show you two different single parents. After
I give each scenario you will see how at-risk our children are. They
need reading experience to build their self-esteem as well their
education.
Parent one has a high school education but her reading level is third
grade. Working two jobs, each night when she gets off work the
children are asleep. If she were at home in time to read her children
a bed time story, she could barely read the book.
Parent two has a high school education and is continuing her
education. She is working two jobs as well and attending a local
university. When she doesn’t have to work late she reads a bedtime
story to her children at least two times a week.
My question is what do we do to change a child’s exposure to
reading for the better given the often difficult circumstances at
home? I came up with an idea to help children learn the value of
reading and writing and become more independent readers and
writers regardless of their level of learning. This program will offer a
series of workshops through local libraries, Head Start or any other
daytime program designed for children.
Ages 3-5
We want to help children, particularly at-risk children, understand
the importance of reading and writing. We want to instill in very
young children the excitement and satisfaction of being read to
on a regular basis. Children learn the importance of reading when
read to on a regular schedule. Listening to stories expands a child’s
knowledge and challenges him or her to learn new skills. Reading
to a child will increase vocabulary and he or she will understand
more words and be able to better communicate. Another way to
communicate a child is to draw a picture that he or she can relate
to the story. Sadly, one in six children live in poverty in the United
States. Many of these children never get to experience the joy of
listening to a story. Their lack of exposure to this basic skill places
them at a tremendous disadvantage throughout their lifetime.
Ages 6-8
We plan to help beginning readers learn how to write their own
material beginning with a single sentence. The children will enjoy
a Saturday workshop held at a local library, designed to ignite
the spark of imagination through the use of authentic language.
Through a series of guided activities, children will be taught how to
capture their imagination through writing. They will then use their
own material to learn how to edit and revise to create good writing.
One item they will learn is sentence structure. Sentence structure
is an important part of communicating clearly and concisely. Every
sentence must contain a subject (noun or pronoun) and a predicate
(verb or action word) in order to be considered complete. Children
will be taught to always look for ways to shorten their sentences and
make them more active than passive. For example, they might be
told when you see someone about to run across a busy street you
can yell, “Hold it, there is a car coming down the street and it may hit
you if you were to run into the street.” Or, you can yell, “STOP.”
Ages 9-12
My Life So Far
This age audience has developed language skills and may or may
not enjoy writing as a daily activity. Our program will encourage
children to express themselves through writing. They may not realize
that they have an important story to tell and that their story, when
woven together with their friends, will create a beautiful tapestry.
Youngsters this age love a challenge. They will be asked to write
about their life so far. We will use various techniques to help each
child organize his or her thoughts and decide on a topic. They will be
guided through the process of outlining their project, then filling in
the details to complete their own story.
Once the youngsters write their stories, we will compile them into a
book that they can keep.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Checking In

Well, I know I haven't done anything since 2012. Happy Belated New Year! I feel bad. Life has me in several different directions. Hopefully, I will land somewhere soon. I am still writing.I haven't published anything since 2011. I had the opportunity to write an essay for an Anthology book in 2012. "20 on 3:Faith, Hope and Charity" this book was amazing. I gained inspiration during a hard economy. People has faced a lot from 2007 until the present moment. Purchase a copy of this great book, it is worth it! Next, I am working on a project called a "A Gift of Words". I am working to get that started. It is for children ages 3-12. Next, I am almost done with school. I am very happy about that. I will be back to post "A Gift of Words". 

Friday, November 23, 2012

Why Don't It Feel Like Thanksgiving?

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. What bother me is how it didn't feel like Thanksgiving. We all work day in day out to provide for our families or just survival. We work so hard to survive until holidays don't feel like it. It is just another day off from work. Let me explain, do you remember when you was younger how businesses would be closed on Thanksgiving. The atmosphere felt warm with excitement. That is not the case. There were restaurants, stores, etc open twenty-four hours on Thanksgiving. Has money taken over family values and  the cares of others ? I feel in some ways it has. It is our responsibility as a people to don't forget what this country has been built upon. "In God we trust" that quote is on every piece of US currency. To those who done good deeds yesterday. I thank you for taking your time to show and share love to those who are less fortunate. As I was thinking about theses restaurants opening twenty-four hours. IHOP was open twenty-four hours, why didn't they open their doors to free meals to homeless, wounded vets, or military families? This would show the reason for the season,instead of just making a profit. My suggestion is when it don't feel like a holiday, do something to make someone else feel good.Just don't do it on a holiday do it year round. Let's get ready for Christmas!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

What Been Going On

    I have missed my audience.  I know you are wondering what I've been doing? I have been mostly busy being a Mother first to my beautiful little girl. She is in Kindergarten. Education is very important. Next, I had a good time at the MUMFEST.  Also, I am working on several new poems for three or four poetry contest. I working on my next interview. Please keep a look out on Raychelle's blog. Time is getting closer for the results for the Writer's Digest Self Publishing Awards. I am very excited. I hope "Sweet Dreams" will win or place. "25 Days of Roses" received Honorable Mentioned last year. That's huge for me and my publisher. 

   OH!! Early Voting started Thursday, October 18th. Everyone go vote!! I heard on the local news that we had a great turn out for the first day of early voting. I want that to happen again. Our President has done his job the best of his ability. Ladies and Gentlemen lets really vote when it is time to re-elect the senators and representatives. We need men and women who are going to support our President. You remember the when President Clinton was in the seat. The US was on their feet. We had a surplus beyond measure. I want to see that again. I want to say this while it is on my mind. I am a single parent. Mitt you just labeling close to over half of the families in US as a crime zone. Mitt what's next? I can hear Keri Washington at the Democratic Convention "We are the people". I say "we are the people" who has to make this happen. Go vote!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

What You Wanted, Not How You Wanted

"I never been the person who likes to get in trouble or cause confusion. You know what the Bible says paraphrase that "God is love and not of confusion". Well, I stuck my foot in something so deep without me seeing it coming. It began one day I was driving home and my college classmate, BFF called.
"Hello"

"Hey gurly. What's up?" Leah responded.

"Nothing much girl. Just driving home from a meeting." with a calm voice of worry.

"De' Asja, I know you didn't have any meeting today. I saw you with Aspen. You were at the cafe by the art gallery on Fifth Ave.What's going on? I was going to see if you was going to tell me."

"Sorry, girl. I was going to tell you when I got my thoughts together. You know I don't like trouble or confusion. Right now at this moment I am pass knee deep in." replied De

"I have to go Barry is on the other line."

"Bye, De" replied Leah

"Yes, honey"

"Baby, where is my Stacy Adams?" he asked

" Look in the closet on the floor near the container with Winter on it. Do you see them? If not I am on my way home."

"Thanks, I found them. Don't worry about cooking tonight I have a meeting with the Dr. Rawlins. That project I have been working on has been approved."

"Great! Why didn't you tell me?"

" I wanted it to be a surprise. After this is done, I promise I will slow down. We are going to work having a baby again."

"You have said that so many times, Barry. I will see. Only if he knew? What am I going to do? Should I tell him or wait? I'm home, bye."
Driving my car into the garage I see everything he said he was going to do and hasn't. The crack in the driveway, the siding on the house that was partially repaired from Hurricane Ophelia, and my flat tire on my Honda Accord. This tire has been flat for two weeks. Just sad, getting out of the car, the smell is making me nausea. I hurried to unlock the door passed Barry to get to the half bath near the guest room. 

"De' are you ok? Well, I see that you are vomiting like you have that stomach bug going around. I'm going to  reschedule my meeting to stay home."

"No, honey. You worked hard to get this. Call Leah see if she can come over? This give me a chance to see if she can help me."

"Leah, is on her way. I am going to stay until Leah gets here. You look flushed." 
He carried me to the master. He had made the bed so neatly that I wanted to take a picture. This is what I loved about him. Why he wasn't that way with other things around the house." He undressed me gave me a quick wash up, pull the covers back on the bed, gently placed me in the bed.
"You looking so beautiful. Take me back when we first met at the art expo in college. I knew I was going to make you my wife." his eyes smile.

"Knock, Knock! Hey, where is the sick gurly?"

"We are in here Leah." replied Barry.

"Hey, sweetie. You look good and rough?"

"Barry, you go head. That money is calling you. I got your girl."

"Thanks, Leah. I have given her a bath. She needs to eat."

He gentle kissed me on my forehead. Walking away as if it killed him to take each step to walk out of that room. Leah waited long enough to hear Barry car back out of the driveway and down the street. 

"What is really wrong with you?" asked firmly by Leah

"I'm pregnant."

 
 

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

A Deeper Meaning

A couple of weeks ago I watched the movie "The Reader". That movie has a deep meaning, which took you to a raw place within yourself that some people wouldn't be able to explain. Continuing to think about this movie, took me to a memory. There are memories or events in life that causes others to be shut off from the world and family. Until something happens and you learn that you have to open up to release what you are hiding.The character who played the young gentlemen fell in love with this woman. She was much older and have to be in control. She had to stay in control to hide her truth. Her truth was she couldn't read. When you watch the movie there are several scenes where they made love. I looked at it from the point of view that she wasn't making love to the young boy. She was making love to what he had. What he had that she didn't was education, innocence, and most of all he could read. 

Have you ever seen someone who might have a car that you have dreamed of all your life. I know mine is a Ford Mustang. You look over to see a fine man driving the car that would make you sin just with eye contact. The intelligent young man had attracted her to him. In return she taught him how to make love to a woman but not how to love. That love is giving yourself to those you love. Which caused this young man marriage to crumble. He didn't have the best relationship with his daughter. I will let you see the end of the movie to see what happens. I will say this once you release a secret NO ONE can beat you over the head with it. Don't let your past beat you.You leave it behind and take the wisdom, knowledge and understanding in your heart.